Breakups suck–there’s no way to get around it. It’s hard to be objective and focus on growth when it feels like the world is ending. But to learn and grow as a result of the relationship, we usually need to be. Whether you find a tarot reader or read your own cards, tarot cards can force you to look at the situation from a new angle. Some of these questions might be hard to ask, however they will provide powerful insight into the breakup to help you heal, learn, and grow.
1. What should you focus on now?
I’m the kind of person who will stay locked in my room binge watching TV shows (Parenthood is my favorite) and eating ice cream for days after a breakup. As much as avoiding my feelings seems to help, it’s not very productive and by the end I usually feel worse since I haven’t done anything and I feel bloated. Asking both yourself and the cards what to do next can help give you something to focus on while keeping you productive–but remember, it’s okay to eat some ice cream, too!
2. How did the relationship affect you?
After a breakup we can miss the good things about a relationship–especially if we were dumped. Sometimes it seems that a relationship causes everything good in us. However, this is rarely true. It’s always important to ask yourself how the relationship really affected you–good, bad, or both.
3. What did you learn as a result of the relationship?
I know I was just talking about focusing too much on good things you miss in number one, but it’s also important to focus on the good things you can take away from the relationship. This is most true when it comes to lessons–what can you learn from your experience?
4. What was your role in the events?
Undoubtedly, there was some build up to the breakup. It’s always tempting to focus on what your partner did wrong. It’s important to recognize that you contributed to the end of the relationship and know how so you can learn from that and change–even if it feels like you did nothing wrong.
5. What should you do differently next time?
Now that you know how you contributed to the breakup, it’s time to ask about changing it. This question is about finding the actual, specific behaviors you need to change. With this information, you can make a plan to change that behavior as well.
I hope the answers to these questions help give you insight into where to go now. I know it feels like the end of the world, but it really will be alright in the end! Have a lovely day, and feel free to eat that ice cream–you’ve earned it. (Could you tell I was craving ice cream when I was writing this?)
What hobbies or projects are you going to focus on while you heal? If you aren’t going through a breakup right now, what helped you through them in the past? Let me know!